I did it! I am now back at work full time. The transition actually wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. No tears were shed by this mama! My mom is able to watch him for us while my husband and I are at work, so I don’t have much to worry about. Honestly, it felt like a welcome break. I need this time away from the baby…even if it makes me more exhausted.
As an introvert, I was worried that my personality would keep me from being a good mother. I find it draining to have something that requires my attention 24/7 (which is why we have cats…no dogs). I need time for only me. At night I kept myself up with thoughts and worries tumbling around in my head. Would I be able to handle motherhood? Would I be able to find the selflessness that being a mother requires? Will my baby feel the love that he needs and deserves? I didn’t want him growing up thinking that I chose myself over him.
After his birth, I was completely in love with the screaming,wriggling bundle the nurse handed me. My fears were washed away. I wanted to move mountains for this little man. The love you feel is indescribable!
When we brought him home from the hospital, real life hit hard. People wanted to come over and see the new baby. I was happy to show him off, but I was getting up every two hours to nurse him and having to entertain friends and family was the last thing I wanted to do. My husband tried to help, but since I was breast feeding, he couldn’t give me the break I desperately craved. I began to feel overwhelmed, which led me to breaking down. I mourned my old life. The quiet mornings, sipping coffee while watching the news. The spontaneity of leaving the house at a minutes notice (now it takes a good 20 minutes to gather everything and get out the door). How could I survive this?
Eventually, I was able to get into a routine. I was able to find moments to recharge my batteries and press on. And as Jonah gets older, he’s a little more manageable. I can’t believe he’s two months old already!
Now we are being thrown into a whole new routine. My mornings feel a bit rushed. Getting less sleep, waking early, feeding Jonah, trying to get a dinner ready for when Dave (my husband) comes home, getting a shower, and trying to keep a house clean all before noon is so tiring. Then I drop Jonah off at the farm and head to work. There I spend my afternoon/evening talking to clients and helping to take care of patients. I feel like I am burning the candle at both ends. I know plenty of mother’s have done this before and I am slowly finding my way.
I am no expert but here are my thoughts for all the introverted mamas on how to manage this new life:
- It Takes A Village
- It’s true what they say. Accept all the help that is offered to you! And don’t be afraid to ask for help! I was so surprised and thankful for all the friends and family who brought meals and even helped cleaned the house! Find someone who will watch your little one for an hour or two. Going to the grocery store by myself was such a luxury the first time!
- Find Time For YOURSELF
- It’s hard, I know. And you may even feel guilty. But you NEED this time. You will be happier and able confront the tasks ahead. Whether it’s 15 or 20 minutes, find something for only you! For me, I take an extra long shower. Or enjoy a bowl of ice cream in front of the T.V after putting Jonah to bed.
- Don’t put so much pressure on yourself
- I have a problem with wanting everything to be perfect. I want the best wife/vet tech/mother/etc. and have a clean house/social life/work life. But being great at everything is unobtainable (at least for me). So I am a little more forgiving with myself if there is dirty dishes in the sink or I’m not the best tech at work.
Motherhood has definitely changed my life. Nothing will ever be the same again. I love it and hate it at the same time. I hope I will get better at balancing my life…only time will tell!
Any other introverted mothers out there? How did you cope with being a new mom?